[Please note: In this story Mr Vettori's words are in plain type. Mrs Vettori's are in italics.]
When David was a young child he seemed pretty well-adjusted; he was alive and happy and would tell jokes. He was also a bit of a 'crowd pleaser'. All our kids got on well and they used to play with their six cousins. David was also good at sports and I used to take him to karate, swimming and squash. He was very active. He was a peaceful boy who obeyed his parents and did what he was told.
After he left school, David worked very hard and was a good saver. My accountant took him on and David worked for him for 3 years; he was also studying accounting part-time at tech. The first year he did very well, but then after that not so well. David used to do all our paperwork for us: tax, bills, etc. Then I noticed that the bills were not getting paid. David began getting drunk and coming home very late and I started to worry.
David would sometimes be frightened in his sleep. At midnight he would often scream, as though he was having a nightmare. We'd rush up to his room to see what was wrong. I got the priest to bless him. That settled things for a little while but then he got worse again. We couldn't touch him or even get near him when he was not well.
At David's 21st birthday party we noticed that he was talking strangely, but we put it down to the stress of him having to make a speech, so basically we ignored it. But over time, he got worse. He'd ring his mother and tell her that he couldn't cope. He was also upset by his girlfriend because he thought she was seeing another boy. We advised him to stop seeing her because of that. I think David loved her too much. Otherwise he might have said "bugger her, I'll find a new girlfriend". He was affected easily by things. In hindsight we feel guilty for insisting that he stop seeing her - maybe we just should have let him be.
After I split with my business partner I used to take David to work with me. I'd send him to the shop to pick something up and sometimes he wouldn't come back or he'd forget to get what I sent him for. David also used to talk about different plans every day. He'd plan to do this and do that. He had a car, too, and would drive around everywhere when he was first sick. We didn't know where he'd go.
David's illness came on slowly over many years. The stress of his job and the relationship problem was too much for him. Also, I think that maybe he was too good and too timid for his own good. Maybe it would have been better if he was a rebel.
My husband was very sick for a while. They found cysts in his kidneys, then he had an operation and was on dialysis for three years. Later on, he had a kidney transplant. Then David got sick at the same time and our oldest daughter had a baby with disabilities. All that happened in about two years so it was a lot to worry about. I got different reactions from people around me; somebody said "you're lucky because you're so strong and can cope with everything", while somebody else said "all you ever talk about is your son".
David locked himself in his room one day and wouldn't come out. First, my wife took him to our family doctor, who sent David for a brain scan to check that he didn't have a tumour. It turned out that David was allergic to the dye used, so he got really sick. David used to have a lot of headaches too. We sent him to a private counsellor for a while, but he got worse. We tried everything to help him. Then a friend suggested that we take David to an Italian doctor in Five Dock. At first she gave him some tablets, but after a few weeks when they didn't work, she referred David to a specialist in Macquarie Street. He was under that psychiatrist for three years. The psychiatrist told us it was just depression and that David would get better eventually.
Seeing that doctor didn't seem to be helping, so after a while we decided to go to another specialist in Parramatta and he got David admitted to Northside Clinic. It was very good but very expensive. Fortunately we always paid for private health insurance, so David had private doctors and the insurance paid for the treatment. He stayed in Northside for five weeks and was better after that.
The doctor at Northside Clinic told us that David had schizophrenia and that he wouldn't 'get better'. He also said it was the worst type of schizophrenia. That was about four years after we first took him to a doctor. We didn't know anything about schizophrenia; we were completely ignorant about it. We thought it was the end of the world. I screamed when the doctor told us about David's illness because I never expected this to happen. Ultimately, though, it was better that the doctor told us that David had schizophrenia because when we thought it was depression, we thought he would recover. I used to pray at the church all the time, praying for David to get better, but I don't bother now.
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page updated
14 September, 2007
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